Hey, Grumpy Guy Sitting Next to Me Yesterday - I Have A Few Things to Say to You

So yesterday I had the distinct pleasure of attending Fan Appreciation Day at Fenway where I got to shake hands with all sorts of players like Bill Hall, John Lackey, Jeremy Hermida, Bill Cameron, Jason Varitek, Dustin Pedroia, Keven Youkalis, Ramon Ramirez, J.D. Drew, and Joe Nelson. Josh Beckett, to my dismay, did not grace us with his presence. I assume he was off getting a massage or something.

I was lucky enough to enjoy this experience with some Twitter friends @shelley1005, @__fc, and @pinkberryoasis but my seat for the game was a single seat all by myself (in case you missed it, here is why I had a seat all by my lonesome). I was on the end of a row next to the grumpiest guy ever to come to a Red Sox game. He sat with his arms folded for most of the game and made comments to his companion (a young man who's replies I never quite caught). Here are a few of the things I would have said to him yesterday had I not feared his grumpy wrath:

1. Dice-K is not getting traded before the All-Star break. No way, no how. And I don't think any West coast teams are interested in trading for him just so he can go to California and be with more Japanese people.

2. The Red Sox didn't trade anyone for Marco Scutaro. He was a free agent that we picked up in the off-season. That 10 minutes you just wasted trying to remember who we traded him for is time you are never getting back.

3. Manny del Carmen is actually a good pitcher despite what you think. Now I know why you didn't respond to my enthusiastic "Oh look, Manny del Carmen is pitching now!" Your bad vibes alone is what caused those 2 home runs.

4. And if you didn't like MDC why did you have nothing to say about Scott Atchison, who frankly deserves more bad will than MDC? Or do you not know who Scott Atchison is?

5. So Tito put both J.D. Drew and Ortiz in to pinch hit for 2 different players. When Ortiz struck out the 2nd time you can't tell Tito he should have hit Drew for Ortiz. That just isn't possible.

6. I think I heard you muttering something not so nice about Josh Beckett. You are lucky I didn't hear what you said because that would have been enough to make me stand up and kick your grumpy ass.